Duty of Care
As is described in the pages of this website, the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University has a deep and significant effect on those who become involved in its’ beliefs. However the Brahma Kumaris do not have a duty of care policy or practise. As an organisation they do not accept any responsibility for the psychological and emotional impact or the welfare, on any level, of those they have recruited into their membership.
The BKWSU actively seeks to increase the number of “students” who study their teachings, adopt their lifestyle and have full faith in their belief system. However the BKWSU has never developed a capacity to assess or assist those followers who become psychologically affected as a result of their involvement.This is evidenced by the fact that the tragedy of what happened to Ranjana and Sharad has never been addressed by the BKWSU management.
What we seek is the consideration of important issues and resolutions to problems related to the emotional safety and well being of the members of the BKWSU – an issue which BKWSU management is in denial about.
The major concern is what to do to protect those who are already associated with them or will be at some time in the future. This site is about pressing the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University to establish a duty of care program and an exit strategy for its members including permission to leave. The fact that the deaths of Ranjana and Sharad did not lead to even a consideration of how to prevent such tragedies again is a statement about the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University leadership and the degree of effort necessary to gain their compliance.
Why no duty of care? Why has this organisation so determinedly resisted considerations of this matter? The answer lay in their beliefs: the teachings of God, that they claim to be channelled through Brahma, state clearly that those who study and then leave are the worst type of sinners – they are labelled as deserters and traitors. As such, their well being is just not up for discussion.
Within the ranks of the BKWSU membership the attitude toward ex members is governed by the cults’ management – the people who effectively own the philosophy. The established attitude towards ex members is that they are people who have been overwhelmed by Maya – the illusions of the material world – and are now spiritually diseased. For members to associate with ex members is to become diseased also. Thus the common experience of ex members is one of being outcast. Their friends within the BKWSU are no longer their friends, there is no cooperation or support. Even a member of many years who has given a great deal will feel abandoned – and they have been.
So what’s the problem? The nature of the Brahma Kumaris philosophy is to attract people who are emotionally or psychologically vulnerable at that time. The simple fact is that happy people do not join the Brahma Kumaris. Unhappy people do because they have been lead to believe that they have found the explanation and solution to their lifes ‘dilemma’ (dysfunction).
The BKWSUs’ core promise is purification of the soul, with the resultant peace and strength of mind. This is achieved by studying and practising and surrendering to their philosophy and meditation – something that appeals to those who are dissatisfied within themselves. What new members don’t realise is that the honeymoon like experience they have in the initial stages are largely associated with the fulfilment of basic emotional needs – belonging, community, respect, reinforcement – and a satisfying, if not intoxicating, explanation – they are the special ones who now know God personally are to become deities in Heaven.
The danger grows because the BKWSU teaches a pseudo-psychological ‘understanding’ of consciousness they claim is taught directly by God. The result is that the inculted members believe that the knowledge they have is superior to the ‘impure knowledge’ of humans – including mental health professionals. One of the consequences of this is that if a member is suffering depression or anxiety they will only seek to solve their issues from within the teachings and ranks of the Brahma Kumaris themselves. However the only answers a troubled member will get are distilled from the BK philosophy and only serve to indoctrinate the member more deeply – or blame them for being too impure to be content as a BK and thereby simply adding guilt to their existing feelings of depression and anxiety.
As a result there is a higher concentration of the group who are in need of professional help than a typical cross section of society, all of whom are heading for deeper trauma. The initial experience that was so pleasant simply disguised the real issues. These issues will re-emerge at some point – even years later – and this will result in serious internal conflict and tension. Their real issues are then compounded with cult induced sense of failure and guilt. This leads to depression and possibly self destructive tendencies.
What duty of care requires is:
The acceptance by management that duty of care is responsible and reasonable. What is the harm in having such a program? Why is management so threatened by something that is so typically accepted in the world they look down upon?
It will require a professional, responsible and mature attitude from senior management – and this is probably the heart of the matter – BKWSU management is so bound in its’ reductionist theories that new thinking is essentially impossible.
The BKWSU is quick to highlight that it has a membership of over 800,000 students globally. The organisation has become very wealthy. It is effectively a global corporation. Yet it has no strategy at all to ensure the well being of its’ members, even on a minimal level of occupational health and safety. Given that it is the nature of the BKWSU to recruit emotionally vulnerable or socially dysfunctional people it is highly likely that there will be a problem. And there has been – which is why we are here. Until now communications with the BKWSU has only confirmed that duty of care is simply not on their agenda.
What could they do?
Firstly we have to establish the premise for duty of care in order to define the key issues. In the case of the BKWSU that would be directly related to what they do and how they recruit their members. In the first instance, what they do is literally guarantee that if someone fully surrenders to the teachings and practises they will achieve complete purity and peace. Thus they actively encourage “students” (members) to submit completely. This consequence of this is that a member will relinquish all forms of outside support. This includes family, friends, and professional health care. The member is rendered totally dependent on the BKWSU – and notably the seniors. The obvious problem is that the seniors are not qualified or able to provide the level of support required to sustain other individuals in either the short or long term. In the west, an estimated 90% of these seniors will run into problems themselves and also leave – that is, they are the victims of the process themselves.
Duty of care in this context is complex – how to provide a necessarily comprehensive program to ensure the well being of people who are totally dependent on a single and exclusive provider of emotional and psychological support. We have major problems here – firstly we are talking about an organisation as such a provider as opposed to family, friends or people who actually care. Is this even possible? Secondly, we are talking about an organisation which fails to even recognise that such a thing as duty of care even exists!
So we are definitely coming from a deficit position. Assuming that the BKWSU could recognise its’ responsibility, and also recognise that it has positioned itself as a soul provider of care – where to from there?
They could begin by implementing a comprehensive education campaign to enable their members to understand psychological matters that may effect them or those they know from a qualified perspective. Matters such as depression, anxiety and ADHD – common conditions buried throughout the ranks of the Brahma Kumaris – should be openly addressed. It should be a regular topic of discussion. This information could also be made available on an internal website for example.
This could be in conjunction with independent assessment and counselling by outside professionals. This service needs to be available to members and ex members. Its use should be encouraged. Those leaving would benefit greatly from this service.
Additionally there is a requirement for an independent Ombudsman to be available to resolve issues fairly and make recommendations. At this stage, all the power is with the Seniors and inevitably the decisions are all in their favour. Consequently there is no learning curve or development for management. And people seeking help are inevitably the ones in the wrong. This definitely has to change.
At this stage, members are psychologically manipulated into staying. They may be told by a senior that it is okay to leave, but the teachings state clearly that to leave is to fail – forever. There is no coming back, there is nothing but eternal damnation waiting for them if they leave. All advise given to struggling members is based on this premise. In short, it is not okay to leave. This is evidenced by the fact that there is no exit strategy.
Not being able to leave is a major contributor to the psychological breakdown that is witnessed in almost all departing members. This is one of the most important aspects of duty of care that has to be implemented – permission to leave and an exit strategy. This will require a major change in attitudes, which, in reality, is unlikely. Numbers are much too important to the Brahma Kumaris – the volume of membership is critical to their feelings of success, to their own organisational identity.
Another one of the key challenges we are laying down for the BKWSU is honesty. It is their culture of “self justified deception” that is a significant factor in the trauma they cause. They seem to be always hiding something – even their core beliefs!
Firstly they could start with financial transperancy. The Brahma Kumaris claim to be the true children of God, yet when it comes to money, property and finance, they have a lot to answer for. We simply seek honesty on all levels. Deception is a silent and dangerous practise and harmful to members.
All that is being asked of the Brahma Kumaris is honesty, integrity and concern for the well being of members and ex members. The Brahma Kumaris promote themselves as authorities on spiritual and moral values. It is high time they practised what they preach in their ‘own home’ and overcame the embedded culture of hypocrisy.
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By editor, November 7, 2008 @ 8:36 pm
It is important to understand that being a BK in the west is very different to being a BK in India. I have some insight into the differences as I have travelled in India on behalf of the BKWSU lecturing in various centres in Dehli, Bombay, Bangalore and Madras.
In the west being a BK, Indian or not, is much more fundamentalist. This is mostly due to the intense attitudes of Sister Jayanti who had a huge influence on the development of the BKWSU in the western world. Nirmala Didi is equally fundamentalist. They have both pushed the idea that there is no margin for error, that to leave, or even think of leaving, is a massive failure. If you left the organisation with another BK – as Ranjana did, you were not allowed to show your face again.
This fundamentalist attitude is reflected in the translation of the murli into English. For example in the Hindi murli Baba encourages everyone with “children become pure” using the Hindi word ‘pavitra’. He is encouraging his followers to adopt the mariadas and live a pure life.
However, in the English class everyone is already following the mariadas and cannot imagine that someone would attend class if they were not. So ‘pavitra’ is wrongly translated as ‘pure’ meaning ‘satopradhan’. So noone hears the encouragement that is expressed through the Hindi murli, they only get “you must become completely pure / be completely pure now!!”
So the English class feels that they are constantly being reminded that they are impure and that every wrong thought is a fatal mistake. Instead of being encouraged, they are discouraged. They leave the class feeling stressed because they are not perfect now.
This is just one simple example that I hope you can grasp – it may seem incomprehensible to you, but being a BK in the west is quite a distressing experience. It is very blissful in the beginning, but the “all or nothing” attitude of western BKs will ultimately result in the severe depression of failure as the years pass and one doesn’t feel that they are able to live up to these impossible expectations. EVERY WESTERN BK LEAVES IN GREAT DISTRESS.
This is what happened to Ranajna – there was no forgiveness, no compassion, no encouragement – in the eyes of Jayanti Ranjana had failed and that was that.
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By happy74, November 14, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
Hello, I think it’s a shame that the BK members engaging in discussion on this site are so defensive. What we all need is love, and the BK life is certainly not a dry and lifeless existence, in fact sometimes it’s too musical and sociable and sweet for those of us who particularly like solitude and simplicity! BKs are also generally not overly intellectual, but there is such a battle of words here!
I just wanted to add that I too suffered disillusionment, a sense of aloneness and a mild depression after over 10 years with the BKs and found myself seeking other closer emotional attachments and leaving the dedicated life. I felt anger towards those BKs that I had spent a great deal of time doing service with and who I regarded in the same way I would my parents or older siblings. I felt they did not help me enough when going through my tough times, and regarded it as basically not their problem. I love the idea of pressing the BK for a stronger “duty of care” philosophy, especially in the London BK environment.
But ultimately I accepted responsibility for my own actions, found a greater freedom and happiness in myself, and let go of that anger. Realising my own freedom has made me happy with my choice, and I can still keep in contact with the family and the senior BK in the country where I now live. I have found them to be extremely supportive, warm and loving, and it is they that make an effort to keep in touch with me, more than I do! They also encourage me to feel OK with exactly who I am. This experience of love and interest from the family in my welfare has been a beautiful, amazing thing for me.
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By happy74, November 15, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
Yes I agree – they feel deeply hurt by something. Understandably the deaths by suicide of some friends is a big deal. But yes, I agree, they are still trying to get something from the organisation, or to try and control some people. If you try to control others, what is written here is how you start to see the world – always the problem is outside yourself and false perception takes hold. It must be an awful experience for this poor person or people. My sympathy goes out to them.
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By happy74, November 15, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
By the way, I was in London at the time the death of the brother occured, and seem to remember the funeral service that was held at the centre. The death of this brother was honoured and acknowledged as a tragedy.
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By editor, November 17, 2008 @ 3:13 am
And yes Happy74 I am aware of Sharads funeral in London. I wasn’t there but heard about it. I have never doubted that the whole affair was a product of guilt over Ranajanas death.
The point is there has never since been a development of policy or strategy to try and avoid such tragedies again. Jayanti is a big fish in a little pond. Outside that pond she is completely clueless. She just cannot grasp what the real needs are.
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By tashy, September 7, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
I spent 15 years in a cult, and know all the signs, I have been going to bk centre for about 8 years at least 2 mornings a week, but not got involved and not followed shrimat, but in all 8 years the teacher has never made any personal contact with me as a person, the meditation and atmosphere has helped me, and I do believe I had an awakening. Recently I have witnessed bullying and abuse of a lovely lady, and after reading this site, especially comments on bks who have been around for 20 years, I really don’t know what to do, is it possible to take what you want and leave the rest, or is it time to move on, and count my blessings I did not get hoodwinked again. There is a lot good people there, but overall not a lot of compassion, or personal communication, that is not family. I do have this feeling of guilt, and fear, that if I don’t go anymore I will feel terrible,although there is no real support or contact, at my centre. I just get so confused, I usually follow and trust my inner wisdom, it is just so sad,
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editor Reply:
September 8th, 2009 at 1:41 am
Well Tashy I think our only response would be to suggest that you get out while you can. I think you will have benefited as much as is possible in the 8 years you have been there.
It is interesting that you note the lack of compassion. It highlights the true agenda of BK seniors – to increase their number and claim a higher status in the Golden Age – it has nothing to do with a meaningful service to humanity. And that is why they haven’t really bothered you – as long as you are coming you are a number they can count, and that is all that counts.
Also interesting to note your guilt and fear re: leaving. The BK philosophy plays on guilt and fear and so it is inevitable that you will experience these things. But there may also be an innate fear of being alone and without any visible support – something like a divorce from someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with any more but still the devil you know than the devil you don’t. Add to this a sence that you may owe them something for what you have taken.
Perhaps you could make a plan – know where you want to go or maybe you will find yourself with another cult – like someone who gets divorced only to find themselves married to someone else who is pretty much the same.
I am keen to recommend that you employ the professional services of a Counsellor – a psychotherapist may help you to find your way into a safe new place.
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tashy Reply:
September 8th, 2009 at 11:45 am
thankyou so much for your sound advice, yes I do have an innate fear of being alone, and my spiritual journey and faith have been a real comfort to me, I guess it is just the end of that journey, my faith and trust go with me,I will certainly look at this part of me, needing to belong to some kind of community, thank you
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fake Reply:
April 28th, 2011 at 10:46 am
u made fake story by own ..
one going bk centre dont feel like this
lol hats off to u
By TS, October 28, 2009 @ 1:02 pm
I really still can’t believe the amount of suicides that’s actually happened… talk about… awakening…
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By Tara, January 6, 2011 @ 2:24 pm
Om Shanti,
Sweet souls, why speak bad?
Bad things happen everywhere around the world. Good things happen too. Baba has come to turn this world into a golden era.
That time has now come.
1. To enable everyone to move forward by giving them love and respect.
2. To follow every spiritual law and to encourage that in others.
3. See each one’s virtues and use them for service.
4. To work hard yourself and show others.
5. To make everyone happy and light.
6. Beyond laziness and carelessness and a conqueror of sleep.
7. Complete renunciation of the consciousness of “I.”
8. Brahma Baba was the most elevated yogi.
9. Constantly carefree and an unshakable stage.
10. Always experiencing unlimited happiness that opens the forehead.
11. Still like an ocean.
12. Simplicity and respectful behaviour.
13. Always willing to give love help and protection.
14. The art of making everyone worthy.
15. Powerful drishti that took you beyond the consciousness of the body.
16. The unique blend of knowledge and love in Baba’s life.
17. Baba’s remembrance at every step.
18. Unique balance in life.
19. Soul – conscious vision and pure and positive thoughts for everyone.
Om ShAnTi!
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By Tara, January 7, 2011 @ 11:37 am
Om Shanti. The ART OF MAKING EVERYONE WORTHY.
Giving everyone a blessing and making them worthy and engaging them in Godly service was Brahma Baba’s special art. He made someone so versatile in construction that one became perfect and built Pandav Bhavan and Yoga Bhavan etc. He taught someone accounting skills. He blessed some with the art of taking notes and others with writing skills. Someone who had not been educated in a particular subject at school or college was made more capable and experienced than one who had studied and been educated in that subject. This was Baba’s wonder. Today those chilren are engaged in doing such unlimited service in an alokik way that seeing their special skills people become amazed at how such an unlimited task is being carried out without any sorrow conflict or fighting. He permanent smile the sparkle of Shiv Baba’s remembrance in his eyes the sweetness and spirituality in his versions and benefit for people at every step his humility even though he was so great his fearlessness when faced with adverse situations his carefree nature his truth his love his unbroken love for god and unshakable faith such was his multi faceted personality. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 7, 2011 @ 11:37 am
WORLD MEDITATION HOUR: 6:30pm to 7:30pm. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 12, 2011 @ 1:50 pm
Om Shanti – we are all peaceful souls!
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By filthy shudra, January 12, 2011 @ 5:55 pm
Tara
As a reader of this web site, I would prefer if you use it for its real purpose to submit original intelligent comments, not abuse it by advertising or sloganeering. Or maybe you are a parrot that has learnt to type?
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By Tara, January 14, 2011 @ 4:08 am
Om Shanti, actually I have my own views. Personally I don’t take abuse from people, and I’m not a parrot thank you! Technically I would have ignored your comment, but you made me want to write back, and for a while, nobody had written anything on this website about my comments! So, I must have put my points forward in a positive way. There are good things and bad things that happen across the world in religions and wars etc. We have to churn the good key points, and take forward what we believe is true and right for our hearts.
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By Tara, January 14, 2011 @ 4:10 am
Bks promote world peace, and I believe that they are doing a fantastic job of it. Look at Sri Lanka, their wars have stopped, and I’m sure that we will enter the golden era. Take care!
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By filthy shudra, January 14, 2011 @ 11:06 pm
HI Tara
Thats better – you sound like a real person now.
As for Sri Lanka, surely you are not accrediting the “peace” as being the work of the BKs or God Shiva are you?
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By botty, January 15, 2011 @ 4:43 am
Tara the bks of which i am one are meditating on the destruction and death of six billion plus people. Dont be fooled by the white wash or the bait and switch.
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By Tara, January 15, 2011 @ 1:54 pm
Om Shanti, Botty, there is no such thing as destruction or death in satopradhan. The soul is immortal. The soul never dies!
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By botty, January 15, 2011 @ 4:12 pm
bla bla bla,heard it all before.Sayings like that are a dime a dozen.
I respect your opinion and feel you to be a good person.
Though there is a ruthless hedonistic element to the Raja yoga that goes beyond just being nice.
Dont be thrown to the wolves…
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By Tara, January 16, 2011 @ 9:46 am
Trust me, I won’t. I’m sure you are good hearted too. May Baba be with all souls. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 16, 2011 @ 9:53 am
Om Shanti, PATHS OF SPIRITUAL PURSUIT.
There are 3 paths of search:
1. THE PATH OF RENUNCIATION (“SANYAS”)
In every religion there have been those who have renounced the worldly life and have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of God through penance and prayer. This necessitated an end of family life for the monks, nuns, gurus and sanyasis who took such vows.
2. THE PATH OF WORSHIP (“BHAKTI”)
Most people are worshippers of one sort or another. The path of worship include all the customs rite religious practices chanting modes of prayer scriptures texts and so on.
3. THE PATH OF KNOWLEDGE (“GYAN)
The path of knowledge is the fruit of both worship and true renunciation. This knowledge is not contained in any scripture. It includes the knowledge of God the soul this world and the worlds beyond the world drama its beginning duration theme and cyclic repetition. It explains story of the rise and fall of all souls and how the soul whichever religion it belongs to can have direct communion or yoga with the Father of all souls. IT explains the complete philosophy of cause and effect as it applies to human souls and all that is necesaary for the purification of souls.
The students learning from the Supreme Teacher are not concerned with renouncing worldly responsibilities or family life. They renounce only anger greed ego lust and attachment. When they come to know God through understanding the search is over. Instead of continuing to worship purity in someone else they set about becoming pure themselves.
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By filthy shudra, January 16, 2011 @ 5:05 pm
Attention Website editor
This topic is meant to discuss the concept of duty of care – something which is known and practiced by local kids sports groups , child care, schools small and large, volunteer groups etc but is anathema to the BKs, who have had to be dragged kicking and screaming into acknowledging that their baba’s canopy of protection does not extend to the civil law of the land. (Although i bet you that they are glad to have covered their arses now that they have confronted the repercussions – PR being their main concern ahead of actual real care).
Tara is obviously a young idealist (regardless of her age) and thinks this topic is meant to be a platform for spreading the gospel according to Lekhraj. After a brief revelation of an actual human being with an original thought, Tara has reverted to zealous god-bothering.
Tara, if you would like to include a brief sentence sharing with us how you think this stuff relates to topic – that’d help a bear of little brain like me, otherwise I request that the web administrators maintain some kind of consistency within these topic and exercise some editorial control.
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By Tara, January 17, 2011 @ 12:08 pm
Filthy shudra, sweet soul, thanks for your comments. Yes I do believe that the BKs had some link to do with the peace in Sri Lanka. You might think I’m brainwashed but I’m not. I am just putting my points across in such a way that Baba’s teachings are a word of God.
Heretofore his theories and principles are incredible. I do feel sorry for Sister Ranjana and Sharad. Yes it is a tragic that people have taken their lives, and other stories that I have come across regarding sisters. But these things happen a lot in India, like rape, stabbings etc. The Muslim culture, do honour killings. People worldwide have commited suicide. But the positiveness and the vibrations that I get from the Brahma Kumaris is something unexplainable. I feel like I am in heaven and not living in a bubble. I have entered a safe kingdom. I’m sure you will understand. Om Shanti.
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By filthy shudra, January 17, 2011 @ 10:11 pm
Yes Tara, I do understand – as do many who contribute to this and other BK related forums because we too were “blissed out” for a while and expressed the zeal of the convert.
BKs brought to peace in Sri Lanka? How do you figure that? Why did it take 30 years? Why did 80,000 – 100,000 people die? Did the fact that it was after many countries categorised the Tamil Tigers as terrorists (they were the first to use suicide bombers) and banned funding to them from Tamils internationally have nothing to do with it? Or the harder line taken by the Sri Lankan government (to the point of serious war crimes against Tamils) or the devastation wrought by the 2004 tsunami, or the death of their long time leader, or the efforts of the Norwegian peace-brokers negotiating for years – none of these have anything to do with it?
Oops, no, all it took was “peaceful” vibrations from loving angel children of baba to ensure that even after the surrender, the government forces still murdered innocent women and children who were related to Tamil leadership – all in the fog of war, or was it down to “inaccurate yoga”?. Maybe the BKs can use their $ millions and take more responsibility for the peace and take on the many refugees, provide them with housing, food etc an dget them re-established practically, rather than walking in, spouting kind words, and leaving the real load to the usual NGOs like Red Cross etc. That I’d like to see….
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By Tara, January 19, 2011 @ 11:44 am
Sweet soul,
The Bks do wonderful work and have helped in the tsunami.
I do see your point. Peace and world peace the Bks are doing a good job worldwide, why do you think many centres are opened across the globe.
These angels are real. I did a transformation course, and cannot forget about it.
I am going into the golden era in total secret.
Peace is such a great word. That’s what the Bks portray. That’s why they have silences to remember those who have taken their lives, and to remember Baba. I myself have helped my people during the tsunami time and my mum too.
She has gotten away from the Bks, but I am drawn to the angel of souls. Charities play a big part in helping the golden era. You are right, the Bks are in addition to helping the poor and changing lives for the better not for the worse. My email id tara.1233@yahoo.co.uk. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 19, 2011 @ 11:46 am
Duty of care, I would like to assist those who think negatively. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 19, 2011 @ 12:23 pm
Om Shanti. To become silent, to be still in the ocean of hectic, noisy action, is a choice many people are now making. When this is achieved, this stillness acts on the mind like oxygen, giving the breath to both understand and enrich life. Of course, action is a necessity, an expression of ourselves through time, relationships and the roles we play. However, if we do not sometimes stop and take a breath of silence, then the mind begins to suffocate, thoughts speed like bullet trains and the brain feels as if it is in a pressure cooker. Emotions erupt and react like volcanoes, the eyes become dizzy with mountains of information and the head feels like a rollercoaster. This is stress. The mind needs to come up for air, to leave the jungle of pressure, deadlines and speed and slow down and find the point of silence within.
Meditation is the method to find that point within which recharges the mind with peace, clarity and balance. It is like a compass needle that guides us in the right direction at the right time.
This is why meditation is required. Om Shanti.
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By Tara, January 19, 2011 @ 12:32 pm
To really understand compassion, we have to experience it for ourselves. We can observe and admire others; we can even acknowledge that we have behaved compassionately on some occasions, but how do we develop the virtue of compassion inside us? If we can find a place of inner silence where we can slow down our thoughts and touch our deepest nature, we will discover that it is peaceful and compassionate. This is the source of our compassion and the more we experience it the more it will become part of our actions. Meditation reminds us that we are compassionate at our core.
Most people can remember a compassionate act. It may be an everyday situation or something that stands out as very special. Examples may be sitting holding the hand of a distressed relative or friend, or simply smiling and being positive. Reflecting on such acts helps us to identify the qualities of compassion that a person may express, such as patience, tolerance, generosity and calmness. By thinking about acts of compassion and the people that perform them, we can begin to get a sense of what compassion means and, with further reflection, how we have shown these same qualities ourselves.
We all use words in different ways to describe how we feel and what we mean, and the meaning can change in different settings. We need to come to some understanding of the word ‘compassion’, redefining it for ourselves. Compassion can mean simply kindness; it can mean patience, generosity, respect and understanding. Compassion is unconditional love.
Discovering Inner Compassion. Om Shanti.
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By filthy shudra, January 19, 2011 @ 4:59 pm
Hi Tara
No-one will argue against compassion and peace. However, this is still off-topic. Duty of care is a specific term to do with an organisation’s formal responsibility to its constituents – it is not a generalised “i care about others” topic. You may like to tailor such posts to suit the topic “Lifestyle of a dedicated BK follower” or you may liek to try contributing such ideas on http://www.brahmakumaris.info/forum/portal.php
or
http://xbkchat.net
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By Joel, January 23, 2011 @ 11:44 am
Hi Tara,
I’m sure what you write is well-intended. You would like to uplift us with your positive words, images and associations.
When you ask “how does one develop compassion?” That is something I recognize as a common BK rhetorical device. Are you aware that you are asserting that your audience needs or wants to develop compassion? You are presuming that your associations about compassion will help them. But maybe they are already compassionate!
That you intend well has no particular connection with the BK organization’s failure to fulfill its duty-of-care obligations, which this article highlights. Though you can write about anything, it does not wipe away this issue.
As a BK center-in-charge, I was shocked to discover that no guidance on dealing with disturbed people was forthcoming when my well-intended introduction to BK religious beliefs led to a woman being deeply disturbed.
As a BK, I was shocked to discover that the organization was more concerned with its public image than helping people. Circumstances regarding actual suicides (Ranjana and others) were covered up. She did not get a handclasp of kindness. We would expect teachers to be told what happened, that meetings would be held on what went wrong, what we could learn from the tragedies, and how to support others better.
At the top of the ladder, the BKs are not oriented that way at all. Their knowledge (your knowledge Tara) is supposedly perfect, so that meetings are only in order to “satisfy souls”. That was the language I heard when I was a BK.
Duty of care involves taking responsibility and acknowledging mistakes. Telling people (even repeating Lehkraj Kirplani’s lectures) that their family is not their real family, that their family is their enemy–that is abuse to someone who is mentally unstable and needs the support of their family. BKs don’t provide that same support. Even allowing that it may have been okay for Mr. Kirplani to say such things when he spoke to his group of followers, it certainly is not okay now.
I highlight this because I committed the same error–saying BK “truths” that ended up hurting others. The BKs recognize that such language can be hurtful and inflammatory. That is why the BKs have edited the murlis over the years. Inside the group, they recognize that certain things can be harmful, but outside they never admit making a mistake.
Nowadays, if you admit a mistake, you can be sued. No one wants to be sued. But a culture of covering up suicides, and covering up the abuse of children. is not healthy. It is human self-protective behavior, and has nothing to do with compassion, God or peace, and everything to do with money and reputation–the very same devil that the BKs so often criticize in the external world.
Tara, if you’d like to dialog here about specifics–people and events –related to duty of care, you are welcome to do so. Otherwise, I believe you’ve had sufficient column inches to make your points.
I will not welcome future philosophical churnings from you.
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By Tara, January 25, 2011 @ 1:09 am
Hi Joel,
Thanks for your reply. I understand your point and disappointment completely. It’s great that you are a BK. I went to India back in 2008 to 2009, and went on a transformation course, which left me totally disorientated.
I am still in connection with the centre in Wembley as I cannot forget about the course. It changed my life, and my view about God for the better.
I believe that I am a spiritualist. I will not post philosophical churnings, but I will share my side of the story. In India, I tried to end my life, to be with the BKs. My parents wouldn’t allow me.
I had even ran away and jumped on an auto (alone) being a girl is not safe to do so in India and went to the Sirifort Auditorium, New Delhi. This is exactly why I want to be of a support to other victims and pledge the Duty of Care to remain in strictest confidence, 100%.
I hope you understand my side of the story and why I think the BKs have valid points, despite the mistakes in the past.
But why on Victory Day, do they have 2 minutes silences, to remember the soldiers? The same, as being in silence, probably to remember the past souls who have ended their lives. It is very sad I must admit. But a soul is immortal, it never dies.
I am currently doing a stress free living course. I have been a Raja Yoga student for 14 years. If anyone wants to be in touch feel free to email me at:
tara.1233@yahoo.co.uk and you can guarantee a reply.
Om Shanti.
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By Joel, January 28, 2011 @ 2:17 am
Tara,
I was a BK for long enough to find out that the beliefs and lifestyle limited and were actually harming me. I also saw others harmed, and I witnessed harms being concealed.
I have since discovered I don’t need any special beliefs about the world, including any belief of immortality, to be who I can be. I have found different ways of working on myself.
That you believe the BKs have valid points and that they help you is for you to determine. Your story sounds interesting.
This site documents some of the harms brought about by this religious group, and this page specifically the group’s abuse (by not fulfilling its duty-of-care obligations) of vulnerable followers.
Our beliefs, and even experiences, do not expunge the record of this group’s harmful behaviors. Evidence suggests these behaviors are ongoing.
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By Tara, January 29, 2011 @ 4:02 am
Hi Joel,
How are you? Thanks for your reply. I do understand why you think this religious group causes harmful behaviours, because it takes me back to when I tried to end my life, by taking an overdose. My parents were so worried that they rang up SiriFort New Delhi, and Gurgeon, Brahma Kumaris group, that even SiriFort and Gurgeon had said not to let me come because of my behaviour i.e trying to end my life. I was left devasted. Then I got hooked on to the Aastha channel back in Delhi, and I watched endless episodes of Sister Shivani, with Dr Girish Patel, and Sister Jayanthi. I felt that they were even talking about me. I really wasn’t myself during 2008 and 2009.
I am sharing this story as it is nearly similar to those souls who have tragically ended their lives. Luckily I am alive today and believe it is God the Supreme who has saved me. I don’t usually wake up early in the morning to meditate but I meditate in the evenings looking at a candle for about 15 minutes each day. Sometimes I usally wake up naturally at 3:45am and stay awake and then go back to sleep and arise at 6:30am or 7:30am. I don’t even do traffic controls at certain times of the day, but I do a couple just to remember people like Ranjana and Sharad ji. I am the driver of my own soul. I believe in freedom of speech. Thanks to this site I can voice out my opinions and beliefs. I believe this is because I made a secret attainment to allow to be surrendered to Shiv Baba. It calms me down and helps me to wind down. These are just some of the points that I take from meditation. In India I was a vegeterian but being back in the UK my parents don’t allow me to turn vegeterian. So I’ve always believed that you should eat whatever God gives, whatever your parents cook for you.
Anyway I am not a preacher and I hope that my story doesn’t sound like it’s preaching.
What I’m saying is think twice before you go into something. If you think it’s for you go for it. If not stay away!
Good luck and Om Shanti! May God be with you all. All the best.
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By Tara, January 29, 2011 @ 5:40 am
Om Shanti, what I really don’t understand is why call any group who is religious a cult. After all God is God. He is the highest of all supremes. Am I beginning to awaken? Or am I still being disillusioned if that’s such a word! Om Shanti and take care!
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By filthy shudra, January 29, 2011 @ 9:33 pm
Tara,
I am sorry to hear of your difficulties and glad that somehow you have found a support via the BKs. Of course it is wrong for anyone to kick the crutch out from someone who needs such support. Noone wishes you ill, or to create a situation that will leave you feeling suicidal again.
All I’d say directly on that matter is that many people pull themselves out of suicidal ideas in ways other than religious.
You say: ” I really don’t understand is why call any group who is religious a cult”
You are capable of looking up the definition of “cult” and other articles.
You say: ” After all God is God. He is the highest of all supremes. ”
As it is said in Mahayana Buddhism – yes you can talk of Gods and Demons, but remember, its your God, your demons”
You say: “Am I beginning to awaken? Or am I still being disillusioned if that’s such a word!”
I think you mean “deluded”or” delusional”…..
The very nature of identifying a permanent “self” or being attached to a particular ideology of what the world “is”, are both forms of delusion.
“Self” is always changing, and adherence to a defining ideology limits our ability to see the world as it is. If that is understood, then you are “beginning to awake”
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By Tara, January 30, 2011 @ 7:38 am
Filthy Shudra,
Thank you. Your words are good and well written.
I stopped feeling totally suicidal. I am much better now thanks. Though I still go to the Wembley centre just to get some private space. I do not do service there, I just meditate in the quiet room or Baba’s room.
I am not a preacher, don’t get me wrong in that aspect.
You are right, it’s deluded or delusional, and I have begun to see how thyself changes continously. I am able to find the meaning of life and see the world as it is. Yes, perhaps I have begun to awaken…!
Take care everyone! Live life to the max!
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By Tara, January 30, 2011 @ 9:29 am
Filthy Shudra and Joel, and to all other people here on this website. There are always some badness and goodness in the entire universe. We have entered the golden era. We have to take the goodness out of paradise – heaven on earth. Please watch Aastha 849 from tonight. Om Shanti and Good luck.
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By filthy shudra, January 30, 2011 @ 4:36 pm
Keep moving forward Tara – a step at a time. Your journey is yours alone, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.
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By Tara, January 31, 2011 @ 6:21 am
Thanks filthy shudra, present time. One day at a time is always at it’s best. I have just realised that I have been completely brainwashed… oh my God! That I have definately awakened, I thought I was awakening with God. Tax fraud? That isn’t really religious is it? And also, Bks do not care about other religions, one of the sisters said that they are not interested in other religions in the stress free living course. Oh my God how disrespectful is that? I think I’ll stick to normal Budhism meditation and Hinduism. Take care my fellowship friends. I sincerely wish you all the very best of luck and happiness for the upcoming year ahead.
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By Tara, January 31, 2011 @ 6:57 am
Mindfulness relaxation and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) really works wonders! Thank you to the person on this website who suggested mindfulness.
Stay cool everyone and be in touch. Tara.1233@yahoo.co.uk
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By Tara, February 2, 2011 @ 2:21 pm
I stop thinking. This is good, this is bad. I stop judging. I embrace my whole life with my open heart. (My mantra for today).
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By Tara, February 7, 2011 @ 5:13 am
You came to me with a world in Your hands.
Wanted so much that I understand.
My billowing heart waits to be filled to sail the winds of your love.
Whispers of truth flowing through me threading a beautiful tapestry.
IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.
Lost in this moment, and lost in your light. I fly on a carpet of hope.
Ebbing and flowing the tides of my spirit.
Calling me to my ancient past.
Opening doors to the core of my being.
Taking me to you heart.
In full love and rememberance of Ranjana ji and Sharad ji.
I pledge to look after and support those who have suffered from being associated with BKWSU.
Together, we can beat it!
Feel free to contact me at tara.1233@yahoo.co.uk
Do not hesitate to write any amount of your experiences. I will reply back to you.
God bless, rest well, study well, work well, sleep well, eat well, and just enjoy life!
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By Tara, February 12, 2011 @ 3:39 am
Just my last point really, about abuse/child abuse. Most religions including Sai Baba and the Pope have encountered child abuse. But at least the Pope had given his apology live on national television about child abuse. The Brahma Kumaris doesn’t seem to acknowledge any apologies regarding those lives who have been disturbed.
This website is really good, for those wanting to study meditation, I suggest pure yoga, as it contains exercise, and natural breathing which is good for the body, mind and soul. I wish everyone, sincerely the very best on their spiritual journey, whatever religion or path they wish to follow.
I enter a whole new life. I am born again.
The Lord Almighty Jesus is with us all. He is my saviour.
He is my true guide. He has blessed me time and time again.
This is the true path in life, as the Lord made day and the Lord made night.
Amen.
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By filthy shudra, February 12, 2011 @ 7:01 pm
Remember Tara – its YOUR true path, YOUR Lord – always allow others theirs…. wish you well.
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By Tara, February 13, 2011 @ 8:19 am
Thanks, filthy shudra. I will. It’s a free country after all. Freedom of speech, freedom of rights. Power to you! Be in touch.
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By Tara, February 27, 2011 @ 8:30 am
Last and for one, all religions are good. We must respect each religion and every God. God is above us all. He/She knows everything what one does, and is incharge of the daily drama of daily living. God is the creator of the universe and of human beings. God bless all and take care!
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By filthy shudra, February 27, 2011 @ 6:53 pm
Tare said : “all religions are good.” That is very debatable.
What is important to many is whether a religion, or any religion, is actually right. Or True. They can’t all be right, or there’d only be one religion.
Tara I suspect you are seeing the common goodness found in the people of all religions, and also found in people of no religion – e.g. humanists – and you may be confusing that with the actual organised religions which have been the cause of many injustices and prejudices throughout history.
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By Tara, March 1, 2011 @ 2:50 pm
Religion is a sensitive and deep subject. Good thing for multi-faith!
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By Tara, March 7, 2011 @ 10:29 am
Om Shanti. I believe ShivaBaba is real. He spoke to 8500 countries. God speaks to masses of people.
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By filthy shudra, March 7, 2011 @ 2:38 pm
There are 195 independent countries in the world.
8500? baba’s wonder?
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By Tara, March 9, 2011 @ 11:58 am
There are 8500 Brahma Kumaris centres across the world.
There are churches in every country and churches in every area.
(I’m going to be baptised a born again christian). I believe God is real, and that he is calling me, he speaks to me and I speak to him. He hears my call and calls me.
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By filthy shudra, March 9, 2011 @ 4:53 pm
If you are going to be a christian, do it properly. Study the history and the original teachings, the culture from which it came, the adjustments to the teachings over centuries, the ancient eastern churches, and study the mystics – Teilhard de chardin(1955), Hildegard of Bingen (1197),Meister Eckhart (1327), St. John of the Cross (1591) – look at where christianity got most of its philosophy, Plato and the neo-platonists.
Check the influence of buddhism on christianity (google it)
http://www.google.com.au/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=buddhism+influence+christianity&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&redir_esc=&ei=9hF4TcbgK4_YuAPM2fThBQ
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By Tara, March 10, 2011 @ 12:30 pm
Thank you Filthy Shudra. Why don’t you keep in touch with me via email. My add is tara.1233@yahoo.co.uk
(Not showing off).
I also believe that the word cult, has been made up from somebody who has been unhappy… call me wrong… but don’t you agree?
I have read a lot of Bibles, I read my Bible daily in the morning and evening, and have a Bible Acts study guide and also go to a home group. I love going to church on a Sun, and am part of the choir and church band.
By the way which religion are you following Filthy Shudra if you don’t mind me asking?
I know all of the commandments of by heart and light a candle and offer it to the Lord.
Been good chatting to you and thank you for the link. Very kind of you. God Bless.
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By filthy shudra, March 10, 2011 @ 6:15 pm
I did send you an email once Tara but you did not reply.
A cult can be just a word for a minority religion, or a new religious movement, or it can carry the emotive idea of being exploitative & hierarchically self-serving. On these exBk web sites I think it also carries the meaning of a group that denies contradictions between its own teachings and historical, scientific, social, biological reality – even changing its own history and teachings to suit the audience of the time. I’d also include emotional/psycho-sexual freedom that it asks its followers to forego as evidence of a cult-like behaviour
Christianity started out as a jewish cult. Once the majority of a place became christian, the dominant (normal) world view is christian, so the jewish “mother” religion becomes the minority. Consider that a religious person always considers their own faith as true, and other religions as either misled or an ignorant myth.
Cult like behaviour exists in the major religions whenever they discourage objective analysis of their own faith or try to exercise control of personal freedom.
As for the bible – you have to know the history and culture of the time, the original language (meanings of words and concepts of the time) and style of the writers of the time. Most modern christians are so far removed from the mindset or the language used as to completely misinterpret much of it.
There’s some interesting forum discussions by BKs and exBks about christianity at http://xbkchat.net/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl
and at
http://www.brahmakumaris.info/forum/portal.php
you’ll have to search topics or with a keyword like “chistianity”
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By Tara, March 13, 2011 @ 6:01 am
Dear Lord, and all special people of the universe!
I pray in the name of Jesus.
Lord, please bless all souls and all sea creatures and every living animal on the planet.
Amen.
Thank You.
Tara.
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